Know your Master
Updated: Oct 16, 2021
How many people are you trying to please every single day?
How many people are you answerable to?
How many people do you think need a justification for your actions?
How many times a day do you have to keep on trying to explain the positive intent behind your actions and that you are giving it the best you can?
If this list is long, you might be living your life in constant agony. Thinking a lot, worrying even if the action you think to be right might be perceived as wrong, pushing beyond your limits and forgetting about yourself along the way. This drains the energy out of you and you wish you could just run away from your life.
Along the path of life, we all have authorities who have had the upper hand - parents, teachers, elders and so on. We were dependant on them as children, and they took decisions, which was best for us within their wisdom and experience. But some people still force their power and command around even after we turn adults. The problem arises when they feel like our life exists just to please them as if we are indebted to them.
Pleasing an emotionally unbalanced person is impossible. For many in today's world, maturity doesn't come with age. Many are stuck in their own little world where all that matters to them is their experience, their feelings, their thoughts and their perspective. Communicating with these people is difficult as they only focus on validating their points, completely closed to understanding the other one. They would go to any extent to defend their thoughts.
You don't owe your life to anyone except the Almighty. Some people are given authority over us just as a ruler is given authority over a country. This is to protect, nourish and guide people under them, not to oppress. If anyone is authority turns selfish, only wanting others to please them, neglecting the needs and wants of the people under them, ill-treat them causing emotional suffering, they will be answerable to the Omnipotent. Set boundaries with such people and stand up for yourself. This doesn't mean you hate them. Talk to them with respect, and seek external support if needed.
Now being a woman, there will be a lot of people who think they have authority over us. Know that you share your life with your spouse. If you need to make a decision, discuss it with your spouse to get to common grounds, which is easy when the relationship is built on mutual understanding, respect and trust. You may ask for guidance from people who want good for you. If others begin to poke their head in your life, taking the decisions instead of you, voice out the boundary politely. Remember that how down to earth you may sound while stating the truth that you do not owe your life to them, some people will still label you the worst. They just can't accept the truth. Don't live for the labels from other people. When people state that if we took decisions on our own, we would go astray comes from distrust. Distrust and concern are not the same.
So, know that you are only accountable to the Almighty and your own consciousness. Learn what really is your duty, responsibility and rights. Love should be the only factor if you are taking the efforts beyond your responsibilities and letting go of your rights, not out of fear or to please others. Don't forget about your life while living for others. Instead of trying to please everyone, just ask the guidance of a wise person who wants you to succeed in life and discuss how you can strategically work it out with people whose lives intertwine with yours.
I hope this thought liberates you into calmness just as it did for me.