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  • Writer's pictureSabna Farsana

Love not returned

Can we love everyone? In the last blog, I mentioned to be true to oneself and hold onto your values in all circumstances. But can we keep on delivering our values, express it, while the other continues to dismiss our actions or to criticize by changing the meaning of our efforts? No matter how hard we try to strengthen the bond, they keep on trying to find fault in it and are never willing to contribute into the relationship. Can we keep on loving them? No. But does that mean you have to hate them, bringing in a negative value, contradicting your top values? No, that would put your heart at conflict and make your life even harder. So what can be done?

When delivering your value, keep your intention as 'I am doing this because of who I am', irrespective of whether the other person deserves it not. Any action in particular doesn't deliver the value. The value lies in the intention of the doer and the meaning given to the action by the receiver. If a misunderstanding buds up, i.e., there is a difference in how your action has been received by the other person and your intention while giving it, OR, if you can't understand the intention of an action being on the receiving end, and you feel like it imparts a value you don't like, TALK. Communicate openly to understand each others perspective.

Now, there are people who don't even like to discuss openly and sometimes the communication which might have been started to strengthen the bond, will take it to even worse levels. These people are stubborn, with their ego. They are never willing to understand others perspective neither to change their actions for the better. I used to believe people can be changed with love. But some, even hate being loved by us. If all our efforts to improve the relationship only worsen it, it is better to take a step back. If they have hurt you, forgive them. Don't take the hatred into your heart. Giving hatred even a little space in your heart and thoughts, will poison YOUR whole life.

Be the wise one. If the other person is older than you or holds a higher position, know that they still may not be mature. You can be the mature person, who can see through them. This person was also born into this world as an innocent child. Years of terrible experience has added all these layers of negative beliefs and values onto them. That is the reason why they are behaving so. Not learning how to manage their emotions and not willing to improve conditions is their fault. Silence and patience will be your greatest defense. Know that all the hurtful words and actions they spill onto you doesn't go unnoticed by the Almighty. They will receive the value they impart into others lives. You might have seen people who make life hard for those under them, later on complaining why God has made life so hard for them.

If you want your life to get easier and be filled with positive vibes, make life easier for those around you. Instead of thinking how others have been unfair to you, think of the people who has showered their love, mercy and other values you prioritize, into your life. They deserve to be in your thoughts than those who dislike you. Talk to yourself on how you will be managing while around people who detest your presence. If they don't like the efforts you put in, you can stop delivering any further. Your thoughts, time and efforts are much more valuable. Focus on giving it to the right people.

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