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  • Writer's pictureSabna Farsana

The relativity of judgements

Long back when I was a child, once while travelling, father pointed out a really big mansion. I asked him, "Is it not wrong to build such a huge house?". He replied, "No, it is not. In fact, if a person is blessed with wealth, he should live accordingly. If he doesn't, it would be like looking down or insulting a blessing from Almighty. Only when a person goes beyond his means or capacity, or when he neglects the duty towards others, would it be a sin. Imagine a person has 100 Cr, spending 1 Cr on a house is not bad. He would also have had spent a lot to help others. We would never know. Hence, never judge a person just because he has luxurious assets. Only Almighty knows, and only He can judge".

This has stayed with me ever since. Only a person and Almighty will know about his intentions, limitations, circumstances, capacity and struggles. What might be wrong for us might be ok for others. Hence, I stay away from judging people right or wrong, especially those whose decisions don't affect my life.

We too would have faced these judgements from those whom we trust. After being through a horrible experience, we muster the courage to tell a trusted one, to share our pain and to feel better. But what happens is, they immediately compare it with their own or others' life experiences, and we feel as if they are trying to belittle our experience. The pain is real. We KNOW the pain we had been through, even though the incident might seem small or usual to others.

When I see people comparing incidents in others lives I tell them this analogy:

Imagine 2 persons. 1 man is used to going on for even 3 days without food and the other person has been blessed to eat 3 times/day. Now, both of them didn't get food for one whole day. For the first person, it wouldn't be a big deal as he is used to starving for 3 days. Actually, he would be happy that he had to starve only for one day. But for the second person, starvation would be a great challenge. He will struggle. His pain is intense. Only Almighty and he would know the intensity of the pain and the struggle. Don't compare and talk as if you belittle the pain.

So, if a person's actions don't affect your or others lives, it is better to stay away from judging them. Perspective, comparison and judgement-. Spendthrift or Miser, Affordable or Expensive, Easy or Hard, Rough or Smooth. Thus, the law of relativity by Einstein applied in real life.

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